Lessons on Disability Learned from My Ancient Cat
On living well with multiple chronic conditions, whether you're a cat or a human
Have I always been obsessed with cats? Possibly. One of my earliest memories from toddlerdom is wearing this one-piece black cat costume with ears and a tail and pretending to drink milk and crawl around the floor even though I was then capable of bipedal movement.
I wanted a cat of my own pretty much as soon as I knew it was possible to have one. My parents’ response was always: "when you turn 10."
But by the time I was 10, we lived in a rural area, so the cat was given a bed in the garage and assigned to live outdoors, ostensibly hunting mice but more likely decimating the local bird population. I now understand just how bad outdoor cats are for their ecosystem, and how short of lives the cats tend to have. It’s seriously a lose-lose. My first cat died age 3 after being bitten by a venomous snake and paralyzed. The second disappeared after a few months, probably a coyote attack. The third was re-homed when we moved, and the fourth was also probably eaten by a coyote.
Then came Hibou (pronounced "ee-boo;" his name is French and means "owl"). He had a tough start to life, having been thrown out of a truck and taken refuge in the garage of my grandparents' apartment building. We found him shortly after our most recent cat died (evidence of the cat distribution system at work). A little tuxedo kitten with a dirty nose and gold eyes, he was instantly friendly. He made it through a handful of years as an outdoor mouser, getting into fights with the neighbor's cat but surviving. Then he moved out to the suburbs of Cleveland and adapted to a life of being on a harness and leash in order to go outdoors. And finally, he came to us in Chicago.
Hibou has now made it to age 19, which the internet tells me is 90 in human years. I never had an old cat before him. I had no idea how much could go wrong. He developed high blood pressure from kidney disease, which triggered blindness. He has the cat version of inflammatory bowel disease (which explains his many years of constant puking). He has about 1/3 of one kidney left and requires several medications to keep that one kidney working.
And yet, this cat is still living his best life. Hanging on the couch to watch TV with his humans in the evening. Going into our *fenced* backyard to prowl the perimeter and sniff the wild air. Tolerating tiny children with underdeveloped motor skills thwapping his fur in an attempt to pet him. He isn't cuddly, but he is super chill and loves to be with his people. He has also been around for more than half my life, including all the hardest parts.
So without further ado, here are some of the lessons I've learned from my old man Hibou, my scruffy muffin, a kitty who’s cute but also the Lord’s foulest creature.
Adaptability is Key: So you grew up roaming the wilds of northern Ohio and suddenly you’re transported to a housing development where all pets must be on leashes? No problem. You can learn to hunt chipmunks while attached to a harness and a stake; it just takes some practice and determination. You suddenly go blind? Rely on whiskers and sniffing to find your way around. Life is full of unexpected changes to our situations and abilities, but that doesn’t mean we can’t find happiness (after a period of adjustment that may or may not come with big feelings and laments).
Be Unabashed About Your Needs: Maybe every single wet and dry food—even the really expensive ones—makes you sick to your stomach, and your owners can’t figure out what to do until they realize you do just fine on cooked chicken and tuna and salmon. (As a human with my own dyspeptic constitution, I totally get not settling for something that triggers nausea.) And when the solution is finally found, you show daily enthusiasm for meals that would rival diners at a Michelin-starred restaurant. Maybe cats don’t have language, but they definitely make their dietary needs clear—a practice I am still learning.
Medicine Can Also Mean Treats: You’ve been living your life, maybe threatening death once or twice but generally just chilling, when all of a sudden there are pills being shoved in your mouth on a daily basis. The outrage! But, as it turns out, pills come with a treat, namely tube (i.e. Churu) and it is the greatest food ever. Hibou loves his tubes as much as most humans love chocolate. His adoration inspired me to have treats planned whenever I have to do injections, or get blood drawn, or do any other unpleasant procedure. When in doubt: vegan ice cream is always the answer.
Identify and Savor the Little Things: Another treat this cat can’t get enough of is popcorn. He has always loved popcorn, and it is very very cute to hear him cronch on pieces of it while watching a movie. I also recently discovered he likes freeze dried strawberries. The lesson here is to always be on the lookout for things that provide simple joy and incorporate them into your life as much as possible. It’s basically the same principle as what therapist Deb Dana describes as “glimmers,” and it can make a high-symptom day slightly more tolerable.
Accept the Care You Need, Offer the Care You Can Give: Ok, the first one is less applicable to the cat, because Hibou absolutely hates going to the vet, and doesn’t get a say in whether or not he takes pills. But for the second one—he’s a pro. When I’m sick, he sprawls against me while I nap. When I had hip surgery that stranded me upstairs for about a week, he clambered up the steps despite not doing so for months, just so he could sit with me. He knows when something is wrong, and he may be old and sick himself, but he still offers his form of support.
It sounds silly, but this cat really has taught me a lot about how to be present, how to live with pain and discomfort, and how to seek out creature comforts in those challenging moments. I know cats aren’t for everyone, but I also understand why they’ve been present in so many societies. And I’m sure that whenever Hibou shucks off his mortal coil, the last of his nine lives, I’ll still be carrying all his lessons on how to live in a difficult body.
Hibou can teach us all ❤️